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I wasn’t going to write about turning 65. Everyone expects the ‘hello Medicare, goodbye relevance’ piece, and honestly? We’ve seen enough of those. But as I woke up on my birthday, I realized I didn’t want to let this milestone slip by with a polite nod or an AARP joke. I wanted to capture what it really feels like to turn 65—messy, contradictory, honest, sometimes funny, sometimes painful, but always real. This isn’t inspiration porn or a checklist of what you’re ‘supposed’ to do at 65. It’s how I’m actually navigating this chapter, contradictions and all.—Susan

The real, messy, complicated reality of this age—no bullshit.

Reinvention

We’re building new versions of ourselves, even when we have no idea what we’re doing.

1. I’m creating something powerful at 65. In the morning, I’m “Yeah baby, let’s go!” By evening, I’m drowning in existential dread.
2. I finally (almost) know what I want … then change my mind completely the next week.
3. I’ve entered my IDGAF era. But I still care about how organized my pantry is.
4. I’m reinventing myself fearlessly, and terrified I don’t have enough runway left to pull it off.
5. I’ve always had a high-risk tolerance. It hasn’t gotten me into trouble yet.
6. I’m becoming who I was meant to be, and yet mourning who I’ll never be.
7. I lead with confidence … then second-guess every decision for hours.
8. I’m living my “third third.” Whatever that means.
9. I choose depth and breadth. Then panic I’m stretched too thin, but kind of like it.
10. This is my gateway decade! Someone please show me where the gate is.

Relationships

Love, loss, boundaries, and the messy reality of human connection at 65.

11. I engage fiercely without reservation. Then worry I’m “too much.”
12. I’ve mastered saying no and finally don’t feel guilty, unless it’s to my dog.
13. I choose my relationships carefully. And sometimes still choose wrong.
14. I’m grateful for my husband of five decades, but the way he swallows coffee bugs the shit out of me.
15. I’m a grandmother for the first time, and trying not to screw it up while being a self-aware MIL.
16. I work with brilliant women my age, and yet we’re still invisible to half the room.
17. I spot fair-weather friends quickly … but sometimes keep them anyway.
18. I accept that relationships end, and still take it personally every time.
19. I have hard conversations with grace. Then replay them obsessively at 3 a.m.
20. I’m building a community with amazing women who sometimes exhaust me completely.

Reflection

The wisdom we’ve earned and the blind spots that still surprises us.

21. I finally know myself. And sometimes wish I didn’t.
22. I feel more purposeful than ever, but still question my life choices.
23. I know aging is a privilege because it makes my opinions easier to swallow.
24. Thank God I’m not becoming my mother in the ways I promised myself.
25. My gut is smart as hell … when I actually listen instead of overthinking.
26. I’m wearing 65 like a badge of honor—some days more convincingly than others.
27. I have stories worth sharing. At least that’s what I tell myself.
28. I know “difficult” means “has standards” and I’m okay with being difficult.
29. I appreciate my body’s faithful service while cursing its betrayals.
30. My new grandson fascinates me and reminds me how beautiful life is.
31. Senior discounts feel like small reparations for decades of paying full price.

Rewiring

Changing our programming while fighting the old code that still runs.

32. I speak my mind without apology and then wonder if I was too harsh.
33. “No” is a complete sentence that I don’t feel compelled to explain anymore.
34. I try to listen more now, but still interrupt. I’m a constant work in progress.
35. I give better hugs, thanks to my daughter schooling me for 30 years.
36. I choose authenticity over approval, but miss approval more than I’d like to admit.
37. I’ve escaped the boxes women our age are told to stay in. And most days, I’m glad I did.
38. I claim my earned luxuries and then judge myself for being indulgent.
39. Rest is necessary, not lazy, and I’m a proud member of the napping club.
40. Procrastination is optimism … or maybe it’s just procrastination.
41. I’ve detached myself from material things. Except when I really want them.
42. Curiosity is my luxury when anxiety isn’t drowning it out.
43. Moving 33 times taught me to thrive on chaos.

Refusing

What we won’t tolerate anymore, even when old habits creep back.

44. Diet culture is dead to me—until I step on the scale.
45. I roll my eyes at “aging gracefully” while hoping I’m doing it right.
46. I dismiss ageist assumptions while sometimes making them about myself.
47. I won’t debate the willfully ignorant but still get sucked in sometimes.
48. I leave boring events early—after suffering through too much small talk.
49. I refuse to disappear … most of the time.
50. I laugh at recycled trends while rocking the same side part I’ve had for 60 years.
51. I advocate for myself at the doctor. And still leave feeling unheard.

Reclaiming

Taking back what’s ours, imperfectly and with occasional backsliding.

52. I take up space unapologetically … but only when I get enough sleep.
53. Comfort trumps fashion—except when I want to look hot.
54. I’ve got good hair, so it’s staying long for now.
55. I honor family meals and love setting a beautiful table.
56. Every day is good enough to use the good china.
57. I eat double dessert without guilt, and then feel guilty about not feeling guilty.
58. I care more about the planet now, and wish I’d leaned in earlier.
59. I dance in my kitchen … when no one’s home to judge my moves.
60. I read heady stuff, and still lose my keys daily.
61. I consume purposefully … except when I impulse buy stupid shit on Amazon.
62. My interiors reflect childhood trauma, so I overcompensate with artfully designed spaces.
63. I read late into the night without regrets … and pay for it the next morning.
64. I remember what wanting feels like and act on it, despite the fear.
65. I finally have photogenic confidence—six decades, veneers, and a brow lift later.

Your turn: What truths about your age would you add? The messy, complicated, real ones—not the Instagram version.