The Love-Hate Rollercoaster of Social Media Influencers

Ahh, Influencers. Those internet darlings who somehow manage to inspire us, drain our wallets, and spark envy—all at the same time. I admit I have a love hate relationship with them. I’ve been tempted by their product recommendations and made more than my fair share of impulse purchases. But even while I complain about my obsessive scrolling and shameful screen time, I keep tuning in. Are influencers inspiring us to live our best lives or setting us up for a never-ending game of “compare and despair?”

The Unattainable Mirage

While every swipe is a little nudge, pushing us to buy, try, and emulate a lifestyle far from attainable, we also get pulled into their world. Those picture-perfect lives might feel just within reach. The line between inspiration and becoming entrenched in a stranger’s life is blurrier than a filter on Instagram. The impact isn’t just on our wallets but also our self-esteem and mental health. Comparison anxiety anyone? Aspiration is one thing; obsession is another. Social media dominates so much of our lives that we’re navigating a unique phenomenon called parasocial relationships—the digital soap opera that no one asked for but everyone’s watching.

Parasocial Relationships: Meet Your New Best Friend – Who’s Never Met You

Parasocial relationships are one-sided attachments we develop with people who don’t even know we exist. Enter social media influencers: those curated, flawless beauties who make us feel like “besties” because they share their morning smoothie recipe and tell us to “stay positive” on a Tuesday. The problem? We start thinking we know them. Like, really know them. They become the friend who isn’t really a friend, but we feel so close to their every thought and move that we are friends in our head. It’s a weird dynamic because while the other person has no idea we exist, the connection feels real to us. Before we know it, we’re hooked, feeling like we know them on a first-name basis. But while we are treating them like our new besties, they are just creating content. That’s not to say their experiences aren’t real or that they don’t care about their audience—it’s that the connection is artificial, and what we feel with them isn’t reciprocal.

The Oprah Effect, Deconstructed

How did we get here? Let’s not forget the OG of parasocial relationships—Oprah. Decades ago, before Instagram, TikTok, and a million self-proclaimed influencers, Oprah was America’s life coach, therapist, and friend, all rolled into one, dishing out wisdom from her sofa to yours. She showed up every afternoon in our living rooms, telling us which books to read, how to find inner peace, and even what to buy. But Oprah kept things real and didn’t overplay her role. She didn’t try to sell herself as your actual friend.

Algorithm Approved Fixation

Now, the line between entertainment and personal connection is entirely blurred, making these relationships far more addictive. We are far removed from Oprah’s once-a-day sage wisdom—rather, we are immersed in a jacked-up pseudo-reality. Do we even stand a chance? Algorithms are designed to keep us hooked and keep us scrolling, obsessing, and feeling like we are part of someone’s inner circle. And for many of us, especially in times of loneliness or transition, there is nothing better than that feeling of connection. If your life revolves around every post, mood swing, or sponsored #ad, it’s a slippery slope to a full-blown fixation. Have we grossly distorted what these relationships should be? Half the influencers I tune into make me cringe, and yet I stay, why? When you dig down, influencers are essentially role-playing, filtered through a lens designed to sell, whether skincare or the illusion of a perfect life. I don’t know about you, but that gives me the ick. My advice: Detox. Unfollow. Block. Get back to your genuine relationships, the ones that count.

Have you found yourself in one of these twisted one-way relationships?

What about specific influencers draws you in, and what does that say about what you’re seeking?

Is there an account or influencer that you tune into every day?