Becoming a Grandma Isn’t What It Used to Be—And Neither Are the Names

Not “girl.” Not “sweetie.”  And maybe not “Nana,” either.

When I became a grandmother, I realized this might be the first time in my life I got to choose the name everyone would call me—without anyone’s input but my own. Not my parents. Not my husband. Not the boss who called me “Janet’s new girl” on my first day at a new company. I was 42. I had a college degree, a job, and a teenager—but sure, “girl” worked for him.

We’ve all been named, labeled, and even diminished in the names that we have been called, both casually and professionally. But becoming a grandmother? A precious time that might finally be our chance to claim something that actually fits.

Remember the names you’ve been called throughout your life? Honey. Sweetie. Tomboy. Brainiac. Hot chick. Ballbuster. B*tch. They all made me cringe. Maybe because they reflect how others see us, not how we see ourselves.

For many women, becoming a grandparent is the first opportunity to choose a name that reflects the person you see in the mirror. Your first name? That was picked by our parents. Sometimes the name fit; sometimes it was a  “what were they thinking?” moment. And despite all the progress women have made, 79 percent of us in opposite-sex marriages still took our husband’s last name. Forget your professional reputation, your personal identity, or the reality of divorce rates, society—yes, I mean men—convinced us this is what women do.

But now?  This one’s yours. You’ve built a life, a career, a reputation. You’ve earned every inch of who you are. So why would you settle for a default? Choose a name as original and unmistakable as you.

Goodbye, Grandma. Hello, Queenie!

Grandma Isn’t a Job Title Anymore

For me, becoming a grandmother revealed something unexpected. As soon as word got out, dozens of women I knew—virtually and in real life—shared that they were grandmothers too. I never knew!

Turns out, women aren’t exactly leading with it anymore. Years ago, we just assumed women of a certain age were grandmothers, cuddly, domestic, and parked in their rocker watching The Price is Right—full stop. That was the first—and sometimes only—descriptor of them. It was both a role and a retirement notice.

Times have changed. Sure, we might daydream about lazy afternoons with grandkids and juice boxes—but that’s only part of the picture. Today, two-thirds of women between 55 and 64 are still working. Some because they have to. Many because they want to. Modern grandmothers are running businesses, creating art, running marathons, and going viral. They’re living longer and healthier lives filled with everything from wine clubs to Appalachian Trail hikes to holding political office. They’re mentoring, managing, and yes, even spoiling the next generation.

We’re not winding down. We’re just getting interesting.

After years of mothering and carefully curating our pre-grandma selves, becoming a grandmother doesn’t mean you disappear—it means you rebrand. Today’s grandmothers are proving you can be both cuddly and cool. And the clearest signal of the kind of grandmother you’ll be?

It starts with your name.

Rebranding Grandma: A Whole New Era

Gone are the days of automatically adopting a grandma name traditionally used by your family or in your community. Today’s new grandparents feel younger, sharper, and more alive than past generations—and want a name to reflect that energy.

With the average woman becoming a grandmother at 50, the search for the right name has gone digital. From Facebook videos with millions of views and TikTok options galore to online grandma name generators there’s no shortage of “help.” Viral Instagram reels like @Landontalks offer lots of humor and context to your choice. This once passive tradition has now turned into a full-on branding moment. Choosing your grandma name has become a whole thing. And it’s personal.

Name Yourself. Just Don’t Expect It to Stick.

Most of us are just trying to beat the clock before we get saddled with something we hate. I thought the name would come to me in a moment of grandmotherly clarity. It didn’t. Cut to the birthing room and I hear myself say, “Hi, buddy. My name is Nanny.” OMG, did I just say that? My mother is called Nan so it seemed like a perfect choice under pressure. Then a few months later when the parents started talking about “the Nanny” I realized my grandmother name is the same as the child care provider.

Did I make a branding error?

But I’ve decided to roll with it. I’ve learned that settling on a name doesn’t mean things will go according to plan. My mother-in-law was dead set on being called Grammy. Then one day, mid-drive, my toddler daughter randomly decided to call her Gabby. We begged her to say Grammy, not Gabby. She refused. And to her credit, my MIL took it in stride—though I’m fairly certain she thinks I planted the idea because, well, she talks a lot.

And if you’re planning to go full Bridgerton and crown yourself  Dowager Violet, fair warning: It might sound less regal when your darling grand mangles it to “Dow” or worse … “Cow.” Oops.

Your Grandma Name Style Guide

Time to have some fun with this. Your grandma name can be traditional, quirky, cultural, or completely made up. So … who will you be?

Traditional

Love the classics? Try Grandmother, Grandma, Nana, Grammy, Granny, MeeMaw, MomMom. Or maybe a more modern twist like Nan, Nanny, Gam, G-mom, or the ever-glamorous Glamma.

Repeats

Want a name your grandchild can learn quickly? Try something on repeat: GoGo, GaGa, GiGi, Babba, Mimi, GamGam, BeBe, LuLu, LaLa, or Big Mama.

Cultural Roots

More and more new grandmothers are reclaiming names from their heritage. Abuela, YiaYia, Oma, Bubbie, Bobshie, Tita, and Nonna are all making a comeback. A friend recently chose Bacie, a name favored by our Polish great-grandmothers a century ago.

Nicknames

Have a name that lends itself to a twist? You’re in good company. My husband was pushing for JoJo but I couldn’t make the leap. Both Whoopi Goldberg (Oopi) and Catherine Zeta-Jones (ZeeZee) found theirs. Try a fun remix of your name: Babs, DiDi, JenJen, Shelly, Reni, SueSue.

Cute

Once your grandchild starts babbling, even the quirkiest name starts to sound like pure poetry. If cuteness overload is your vibe, try Honey, Lovey, Queenie, Goldie, Bunny, Kitty, Cookie, Coco, Daisy, Lolly (to go with a Pop in the picture).

Take Your Time

Whatever you do, don’t rush it. Don’t default. And definitely don’t panic-name yourself in a delivery room, like I did.

You’ve spent a lifetime answering to names chosen by other people—parents, partners, bosses, even strangers. This one is different. This one? It’s yours.

Choose a name that honors who you are now: bold, hilarious, battle-tested, becoming. Let them call you something that actually fits.