Reclaiming our choices one wax, snip, or trim at a time

Middle age is a time when you start asking philosophical questions like: Have I accomplished what I wanted to do in my life? What legacy am I leaving my cats? And most importantly: What the hell’s going on with my hair?!?

Suddenly it’s growing in rogue places—toes, nipples, nose—but less where it used to matter.

We’re talking about your pubic hair.

Because it’s having a moment.

Browsing Reddit I came across posts from people asking their own deep questions: Are women going au natural? Becoming pube Picassos with razors, waxes, and what would seem to require an architectural degree?

Intrigued, I found myself Googling things like “labia landing strips” and “pubic hair straighteners” in Incognito mode to avoid being put on a government watch list. I found it’s not just about a razor or strip of wax.

It turns out pubic hair is the ultimate midlife power move.

A Brief History of the Bush

Even before TikTok tried to influence our downstairs decisions, people were talking about pubic hair. The 1960s and ‘70s were a time of social, sexual, and razor burn liberation. Body hair was embraced by a culture ready to make love—not war—with natural, bushy growth.

The ‘80s and ‘90s brought magazines like Hustler and Playboy, and with it a greater scrutiny of female bodies and unrealistic standards. The focus shifted to creating a perfectly groomed vagina, as if people on the subway had X-ray vision and could see whether or not you had pubic pruning that week.

The era of Y2K? More WTF. The beauty industry ramped up their efforts to profit off that insecurity. Pressure to invest time, money, and our crotches into things like dyes, bleaches, Brazilians, and … sigh … the vajazzle. Yes, crystals that not only brought bling to the bush, but apparently also a rash of injuries.

The Naked Truth

But what happens when we hit middle age? We’re already plucking chin hairs and trying to remember if we took our probiotic. Do we really need another body part to keep maintained on a regular schedule?

It’s not as simple as it was in our 20s or 30s. Along with hormones and hot flashes, menopause also brings increased sensitivity and affects both the texture and growth of our hair—even pubic hair. This means removal might hurt more and take longer to heal. And quite frankly, the absurdity of obsessing over hair that 99 percent of people won’t see means some women don’t care anymore. It’s a cultural shift of owning our choices from head to toe—and we have more choices than ever.

Your Midlife Muff Menu: Wax, Wane, or Whatever

Whether you decide this is a phase of removal or regrowth rebellion, the good news is that there are options.

The Natural Choice

You’ve had a career, run a household, fought off decades of society telling you to be hairless like a Barbie doll. And now? You—and your valiant vagina—are tired. And that’s okay. Not going bare isn’t lazy. It’s empowerment. You’re saying, “This is my body, and I’m not waxing for anyone …  unless they promise wine, a decadent dinner, and three interrupted hours to let me finish the last season of Bridgerton.”

Pros: Time and money? Saved. Small talk with a stranger wielding scalding wax and sharp objects? Not on your clock or your crotch. You can just wash, go, and move on with your life.

Cons: Hot groin summer. Rogue pubes popping out like an intrusive YouTube ad while you’re wearing a swimsuit. And who hasn’t done the awkward “stick my hand in my pocket to discreetly itch down there while strolling through the grocery store” thing? It’s okay. This is a safe space.

Grin and Bare It

This is for the woman who’s seen things, done things, and now wants to see less of some things. It’s your choice and you’re living your truth! Just now with 65 percent less body hair and an esthetician who’s seen you in ways that could be used for blackmail if you piss her off.

Pros: You have the freedom to decide what makes you feel best. It’s as if Marie Kondo has visited your underwear and said, “Does it spark joy? If not, wax it.” Boom! You’re as sleek as a dolphin, but one with hot flashes and a Costco membership. Added bonus? No existential crisis when you look down and realize you’re directing your own 50 Shades of Grey in your pubic hair.

Cons: Maintenance requires more tools than a Home Depot warehouse. And the pain? Comparable only to spilling hot candle wax on your crotch—which, well, you’re literally paying a small fortune for someone to do. Your skin might also react like a freshly plucked chicken—dramatic, confused, and aggressive in a way that forces you to question all your life choices. Out loud. In therapy.

Snip, Don’t Strip

For the woman who wants to tidy things up but refuses to Google “how to wax a landing strip without sobbing,” there’s always trimming. A few snips and you no longer have to worry about your pubes getting tangled in your Spanx. It says, “I care, but not enough to turn it into a full-time hobby.”

Partner Feedback: Optional

Many women wonder, “Does my partner judge me? Do they actually care?” Great questions, and I don’t have the answer to your specific situation (for that I imagine we’re both eternally grateful). But I did go Incognito again and found out what almost 1,000 people, men and women ages 18 to 79, think about the topic.

It turns out 74 percent of people think this kind of grooming matters, but only 20 percent actually bother—proving once again that we’re all hypocrites with hot wax and razors.

But real talk: Your partner has likely been with you since before you could Google things like “vaginal highlights.”  They just want the chance to see it—regardless of if you risked life and labia to wax, shave, or vajazzle.

If someone doesn’t like it, they can look elsewhere.

The Long—and Short—of It

Women grow hair. It’s biology, not betrayal. By the time we reach middle age, what we do with our pubic hair is more than just a style—it’s a statement, a liberation of knowing you don’t owe anyone an explanation for what’s going on down there. And if men aren’t debating their ball hair in Reddit threads, why should we?

Whether you embrace the jungle or mow the lawn, just make sure it’s for you. Your bush, your rules.

And don’t forget to tip your esthetician.