Lately, Madonna’s plastic surgery and antics have been called sad and embarrassing. But her wild style should be cause for celebration, not condemnation.

I open Instagram and see a video of a favorite singer of mine dancing in a silvery, shimmery bodysuit. It’s wildly futuristic and wonderful…until I read the comments.

“Grandma, what’s the matter with you?”

“Poor old lady, no one wants to see this.”

“Stop, just stop embarrassing yourself. Do you have no dignity????”

Excuse me? The ageism is so thick you’d have to cut it with a power saw.

That’s Madonna, the icon, they’re talking about. And she dared to age. Yup, the Material Girl is 66, and she doesn’t look or move the way she used. Her face appears shockingly puffed, pillowy, even disfigured in one photo; uncannily taut in another. She doesn’t spin, shimmy, and shake on the dance floor the way she once did.

“I went to the latest Celebration tour, and, yes, she has changed,” said Marques Harper, an LA-based editor and Madonna superfan who hasn’t missed one of her tours since 1983. In this era of everyone emulating Lady Gaga’s dance moves on TikTok, Madonna wasn’t doing her famous jump squats on stage; it was obvious that one leg was taped up, and she wore a knee sleeve, he said. “But it’s part of living and aging. We’re all getting older.”

The Age-Old Ageism Debate: Madonna’s Plastic Surgery

Not everyone watching Madonna is so accepting. The criticism she faces reveals that ageism is alive and well. It’s a “damned if you do, damned if you don’t” bind: You’re vilified for showing the signs of aging, but if you push back (perhaps strenuously), wow, you’d better put on a Teflon overcoat.

If we show signs of age, we’re encouraged to fight back. That’s why the Botox market is currently worth almost $5 billion, those over age 40 account for 75 percent of all plastic surgery procedures, and anti-aging products ring up about $50 billion in sales per year. (“The Substance” provides intense commentary on what we’ll do for youth.)

But then again, a contingent wants us to “age gracefully” and cede control to the traces of time. Some would like Madonna to “act her age” by showing her age. As one pundit put it on Medium,

“In an era when women are being marginalized for aging, Madonna had an opportunity to be a role model and standard-bearer. She could have shown…the world that she could rock it with the best of them; wrinkles, sagging skin, drooping breasts, and all. Instead, she seems to have bought into the falsehood that women are only valuable as long as they appear ‘youthful.’”

Judgment Day: What Do Stars Like Madonna Owe Us?

Hmm. Do we have a right to demand that stars age as we see fit? Can we diagnose Madonna as having gone too far or even being addicted to plastic surgery, as comments often suggest? We’ll probably never know, noted Pernille Yilmam, PhD, a neuroscience and mental health research consultant whose work often focuses on body image. “Fame and beauty don’t make anyone immune to self-esteem struggles. If surgery helps someone navigate that, so be it. To me, the real question is whether the public should care. The only reason we might? Madonna’s influence as a role model.”

And certainly, she has been a wildly original role model. Many of us remember the thrill of Madonna hitting the scene back in the ‘80s. She was the unabashed bottle blonde with irresistibly catchy songs, “I want to copy that” dance moves, and provocative clothes. We watched as she morphed a million times over, cycling through genres from funk to folk, using her platform for social change, owning her sexuality (Hello, Sex book!), and having intense romances and big breakups in the public eye.

That barrier-breaking, sexualized element of her stardom may be exactly why people react so harshly to her presumed efforts to look youthful. “Madonna is still clearly a sexual being who wants people to fantasize about her and desire her,” said Harper.

Now in her Medicare years, Madonna can be seen curling up on her bed in hot pants for her Instagram feed. Make no mistake, she still wants to be seen as a sex symbol. Harper’s take on her ever-changing appearance? “If it makes her feel good, good for her! We all want to be beautiful and accepted, and, especially in her industry, youth is where it’s at.”

Forever Pushing Society’s Buttons

There’s something specific to Madonna’s persona that is bringing out the tsunami of negativity. Dolly Parton, at 79, is a beloved icon and doesn’t look as if she’s allowed nature and wrinkles to take their course. Why doesn’t she get called out like Madonna does? And how about our older male rockers? Mick Jagger, Billy Joel, and the rest are out there touring, and the public hasn’t by and large told them to “put it away, Grandpa.”

Talented as they are, those guys don’t come with the history Madonna brings. “She has always challenged unfair gendered tropes, breaking down the virgin-whore dichotomy and asserting women’s rights to express and achieve sexual fulfillment at any age,” explained Abigail T. Brooks, Chair of Providence College’s Department of Women’s and Gender Studies. She’s forever a lightning rod for our values and morals, and she’s still making us stop, look, and hopefully think.

“It’s hurtful to see the critique of this woman who’s been a creative force for almost half a century,” added Harper. When you consider that culturally, the younger generations have been fighting so hard for diversity, inclusivity, and body positivity, why can’t Madonna—and all of us of a certain age—be treated with grace and compassion?

Peekaboo, We See Madonna’s Plastic Surgery

Here’s one more angle to consider: Madonna before and after plastic surgery is once again breaking taboos by showing us her cosmetic tweaks, up close and personal. Remember when Warren Beatty, her beau at the time, critiqued her in the movie “Truth or Dare” for living her whole life on-camera? That’s what she is doing today—and normalizing interventions.

Madonna won’t be shamed into staying indoors while recovering from plastic surgery. “Now, you never know when a phone will be used to take photos and make fun of you, which creates more and more pressure for people in the public eye,” explained Sherry Amatenstein, LCSW, a therapist who’s worked with clients who had body dysmorphia and author of “How Does That Make You Feel?”

But Madonna has chosen to live her life while her cosmetic enhancements are still in process. In fact, a little while after she showed her unrecognizable, full-moon-like face in public circa 2023, she took to X (aka Twitter) to show her sculpted and line-free self, saying, “Look how cute I am now that swelling from surgery has gone down lol.”

Which is exactly why so many people love her and millions follow her on social media. She does exactly as she pleases, societal norms be damned.

Why Should Getting Older Mean Getting Boring?

I love the fact that age isn’t dulling Madonna’s relentless and restless creative spirit. I love that she’s still out there messing with her image and with our minds. Her approach to aging is to simply keep on doing what she’s always done: Try new stuff.

In a recent ad, Madonna addressed the camera, intoning, “Count my achievements, not the number of years I have lived on this planet. I am always re-inventing myself, so that I can keep being myself.” It’s a perfect communication of her raison d’etre.

Did anyone really think the woman who has dyed her hair every color of the rainbow and worn the most fabulous clothes (Jean-Paul Gaultier cone bras and more), is going to suddenly stop tweaking her appearance and tone it down? She’s said that she’s never apologized for “any of the creative choices I have made, nor the way that I look or dress, and I’m not going to start.”

So let’s stop with the snark. Maybe you don’t want to look like her or dress like her or make her choices. But this is her one wild and precious life. Let her live it. Maybe even admire it. Step by every outrageous step, she’s showing us all that time won’t dull her thirst for creativity, risk-taking, experience, and excitement—and that’s pretty damn inspiring.