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When I went on Instagram this morning, I was literally bombarded with posts about menopause: Take the right menopause supplements (Brain fog? Hair loss? Low libido? There’s a supplement for that!), eat enough protein (but don’t forget the fiber!), do weight-bearing exercise (to prevent bone loss, duh!), get enough sleep (but make sure it’s quality sleep!). Given that everyone seems to be talking about menopause, who should we trust and which information should we be following?

Is It Too Much Information?

Celebrities like Drew Barrymore are talking about it. Halle Berry is, too. So are Naomi Watts, Maria Shriver, Salma Hayek, and Gwyneth Paltrow. Lady O herself called her latest primetime TV outing, An Oprah Winfrey Special: The Menopause Revolution. This is not to be confused with her 2023 online discussion called The Menopause Talk, where Ms. Winfrey sat down with celebrities, influencers, and medical doctors to offer expert advice, dispel myths, and shed light on menopause and the hormonal changes leading up to it. Clearly, the conversation is still relevant and “revolution” worthy. Which is a good thing … right?

Perimenopause vs. Menopause: What’s the Difference and Why Does It Matter?

 If you’re part of the meno-verse, you know that when it comes to perimenopause—the transition leading up to menopause—estrogen levels fluctuate so much that everything from hot flashes, brain fog, vaginal dryness, irritability, and simply feeling “off” to lack of sleep, libido, and critical thinking are all part of what used to be whispered as “the change.” These days—in stark contrast to what our mothers, grandmothers, and great grandmothers experienced—there is no more whispering; menopause is a full-bore scream! For those of us going through it, we finally feel seen, if not a bit overwhelmed.

Perimenopause typically begins in a woman’s mid-40s, though it can start earlier or later, may last for up to a decade, and not every woman will suffer symptoms because of it. It’s also not to be confused with premenopause, which technically begins in puberty and encompasses the totality of a woman’s reproductive years. Do you want to read that again? Because by this definition, I, like most women, have been premenopausal for the majority of my life.

Mind. Blown.

Perimenopause is marked by 12 consecutive months without a period, and on that 365th day, she’s finally in menopause, a milestone that many women refer to as their “meno-versary.” On day 366, a woman is considered postmenopausal. In simple terms, this would mean that menopause itself lasts all of one day.

As if the terminology alone isn’t confusing enough, treatments for perimenopause can also make your head spin. While there’s no one-size-fits-all approach, hormone replacement therapy (HRT) is used to replace what our bodies no longer produce. This can provide tremendous relief for women who need it. Not necessarily for everyone, in various doses and forms, HRT can include: progesterone (which may help with sleep), transdermal estrogen (aka “the patch”), vaginal estradiol (often prescribed in conjunction with the patch), and there’s also testosterone (for libido), bioidentical creams and sprays (which some argue aren’t as effective). And by the way, if a woman does use HRT to stave off these perimenopausal symptoms, when should she start and for how long should she take them? The answers aren’t as straightforward as one might hope.

There’s so much advice, so many options, and so many doctors and specialists and nutritionists and trainers who all claim to be meno-experts, yet with all of this information, I don’t know a single woman who can make clear sense of how to manage what is happening to her own body.

Why Menopause Advice Feels Overwhelming—Even from the Experts

Enter The Menoposse, a group of menopause doctors and specialists attempting to share their extensive knowledge via any means possible: daytime talk shows, podcasts, news articles, and especially social media. They’re smart, well-versed on everything menopause-related, and seem to truly want to help, but they’re not always in alignment with one another, which adds even more to the confusion.

Some have written books: Menopause Bootcamp by Suzanne Gilberg-Lenz, MD, The New Menopause by Mary Claire Haver, MD, The Menopause Manifesto By Dr. Jen Gunter, to name a few.

Most have been guests on high-profile shows and podcasts—The Drew Barrymore Show, The Today Show, The Mel Robbins Podcast, and others.

Some sell menopause supplements like collagen (for skin and hair affected by hormonal changes) and fiber or have sponsorship deals with companies that sell these supplements. Others in the posse and elsewhere think this is a conflict of interest, having a medical doctor shilling a brand, especially her own. (I use one such supplement and have no conflict whatsoever.)

All have private medical practices, many of which do not take insurance.

And lastly, most have social media platforms with anywhere from 30,000+ followers to over 2 million!

A 2023 New York Times article titled “Women Have Been Misled About Menopause” highlights how a 2002 study on menopause wreaked havoc among menopausal women and their medical care providers, as it suggested that the risks of HRTs, like heart disease and breast cancer, far outweighed the benefits. It turns out that study was extremely flawed, and thanks to more current research and scrutiny around treatment, that initial study has mostly been debunked. The Menoposse has weighed in heavily and seems to be making up for lost time. We’re now encouraged to advocate for ourselves and to find doctors who speak menopause fluently. In fact, there’s now a Menopause Society to “lead the conversation about improving women’s health and healthcare experiences during the menopause transition and beyond.”

While this is mostly wonderful, and more women’s health studies are sorely needed in general, could all of this be too much information? My friends and I are college educated, well-informed, have access to some of the best medical care in the country and yet, we all wonder: Does menopause need to be this complicated?

Finding Clarity, Resilience, and Hope in the Midst of Menopause Mayhem

I have a friend who recently celebrated her meno-versary only to be told by her primary doctor that she’s “been postmenopausal for a while.” When she told him, “That’s not actually true since it’s been 366 days from my last period, making me exactly postmenopause today,” he backpedaled and said, “Well, your hormones have been fluctuating for quite some time.” She admitted that she felt like she knew more than he did.

As with anything medical, it’s best to find a doctor you trust and show up with as much information as possible about whatever condition you’re facing. But given the amount of information, resources, and wide parameters with menopause, are we better for knowing so much? It’s great to have a basis of understanding, but to the average woman, it’s a lot to take in.

The gynecology and menopause specialists at Menopause Solutions suggest on their website that, “It’s important to recognize that this phase of life is not merely a series of symptoms to endure, but a transformative journey that offers opportunities for growth and self-discovery. Understanding the changes occurring within your body and embracing self-care strategies can help you navigate perimenopause with resilience and grace.”

Resilience, sure, but grace? I guess I’ll try. The truth is that so much of this gives me hope that perhaps by the time the next generation experiences “the change,” the revolution will be over and a more straightforward path will reign supreme. In the meantime, I’m looking forward to my meno-versary. Until then, I’ll do my best to eat right, exercise, get my sleep, and take my hormones. Maybe once I’m officially postmenopausal, this will all make sense. Fingers crossed!