The Wet Truth: I Tried 13 Lubes and These Were the Best

Menopause may dry you up, but it doesn’t have to dry you out. I tested 13 different lubes to find what actually delivers more pleasure and the best orgasms.

It happened gradually, but surely, and all the hydration and electrolytes in the world didn’t help. The tap on my personal slip ‘n slide had been shut off.

It was an alarming rite of aging, and one I wasn’t prepared for. After all, my libido was still as supercharged as ever. I was just no longer, as comedian Ali Wong put it, “bubble wanding” between my legs.

The idea that I could no longer self-lubricate made me feel decidedly unsexy, and broken. More so when I asked my (much-younger) partner at the time if he’d noticed, and got the devastating reply, “Yeah. I thought you just weren’t that turned on by me anymore.”

Why Dryness Happens (and Why It’s Not Your Fault)

This is a common misconception, said Jennifer Gunsaullus, Ph.D., author of From Madness to Mindfulness: Reinventing Sex for Women. “You can love your partner, be attracted to your partner, and be excited about sexual activity, but your body just doesn’t function in the same way anymore.” Nearly 45 percent of postmenopausal women reported vaginal dryness, according to one review—almost double the prevalence among pre-menopausal women. Drying up down below can be the result of smoking, certain mediations, and chemotherapy, but most commonly it’s caused by hormonal shifts.

Surprised? I was. I’d heard about menopause-induced hot flashes, mood swings, and weight gain. But no one ever said anything about going dryer than a Sauvignon Blanc. Or that it doesn’t just hurt emotionally.

Vaginal fluid—or to use its formal, even less erotic name, transudate—has a function outside arousal. “It plays a role in vaginal tissue health and elasticity,” said Tara Abraham, MD, FACOG, a gynecologist and menopause practitioner in Washington D.C. And manufacturing it is an estrogen-dependent process. So when estradiol, your body’s main form of estrogen, drops during menopause, the days of soaking through your panties become a thing of the past. Estradiol loss can also thin vulvar tissue, shrink the vaginal canal, and make penetration downright painful.

The Stigma Around Lube

“There seems to be a lot of shame or embarrassment about needing lube,” said Dr. Gunsaullus, in a way she hasn’t seen with other staples of the sexual revolution. Vibrators show that you’re fun, you’re spicy, you’re adventurous. Women will give them to each other as gifts and compare the latest models over brunch. “But lube may be equated to, ‘There’s something wrong with you,’ or something wrong with your relationship,” she said. She does her best to dispel that stigma, including attaching samples of a popular silicone-based lubricant to her business cards.

“Lube is a gift,” said sexologist Marla Renee Stewart, CSE, in-house sexpert for the adult retailer Lovers. “If you want really great sex and better orgasms, use the lube.” This advice applies whether you’re achieving those orgasms with a partner or, like me right now, solo. Research has found that using lube can enhance a woman’s ability to orgasm. And who doesn’t want that?

Lube is useful for marathon sessions (roughly one-quarter of men have taken erectile dysfunction medications), and the occasional quickie. “Women typically need up to 20 minutes of foreplay to be aroused,” said Dr. Gunsaullus. “Lube can be really helpful for a quickie because your body hasn’t had time to turn on.”

Why I Put 13 Lubes to the Test

I was sold at “lube can enhance your life.” I decided to test out as many as I could get my hands on to see what lube can do for me (and you).

How We Judged

Texture

Lube can range a lot in viscosity. For water-based lubes, that can be measured by osmolality, or the concentration of chemicals in water. Ideally, a water-based lube would have a similar osmolality as your natural fluids, which is around 260-290 mOsm/kg. Silicone lubes tend to feel more slippery and slightly sticky.

pH balance

To avoid bacterial overgrowth and other issues, you want the pH of lube to match that of the vagina (3.8-4.5) or anus (7.0).

Duration

Silicone-based lube tends to last the longest, and won’t wash away easily in the shower (just be careful not to spill any, as this stuff is seriously slippery and can lead to falls). You can use less and don’t have to reapply as you would with water-based kinds.

Versatility

Silicone lubes shouldn’t be used with silicone toys, or methods of birth control that use silicone such as cervical caps and diaphragms. Oil-based lubricants can break down latex products, including condoms.

Ingredients

Some lubes contain ingredients that are known to be irritants or allergens, including parabens, glycerin, unnecessary fragrances, or harsh preservatives. Last year, lab testing revealed that one in four lubricants tested contained PFAS, aka “forever chemicals,” which may be linked to adverse health outcomes. This research was limited, however (the lab only tested four lubes total) and more rigorous research is needed. CBD is a relatively new addition to lube as well.

Application

Some lubes come in tubes or pump dispensers to make it easier (less messy) to use. Silicone and oil-based lube can stain sheets or clothing, while water-based are washable.

And the Winners Are…

Best silicone: Uberlube

Experts go crazy for this lube, and I understand why. It’s odor-free, made with medical-grade ingredients, feels light but lasts forever, and comes in a classy and functional clear glass pump dispenser. There’s also a travel size.

Use this if you have sensitive skin, do anal, use condoms, tend to have longer sessions, like shower sex or water play.

Best water-based: Sutil

This water-based lube has two formulations. I preferred the rich, which had slightly more body than the luxe. It has the mildest of odors, but the formulation (which includes hyaluronic acid, a great moisturizer) felt great and was one of the longest lasting water-based products I tried. It also felt lightweight when it dried, like I didn’t even know it was there. I appreciate being able to use this with silicone toys and how easy it is to wash up afterward.

Use this if you’re postmenopausal, use silicone toys, use condoms.

Best oil: Nutiva Organic Virgin Coconut Oil

I’m a simple girl, and this all-natural, single-ingredient lube is as simple as it gets. It smells nice, not artificial, and lasts a long time. It’s also perfectly safe to ingest. I like that it solidifies in cooler temperatures so it can be inserted like a melt. However, it can get a little messy and stain your underwear if you aren’t careful, and it’s not compatible with silicone toys because it will degrade them over time. But to me, that seems a small price to pay for such an easy, versatile product—and one you can get at the grocery store.

Use this if you engage in solo play, don’t use condoms or silicone toys, enjoy natural products.

Best hybrid: Wicked simply Timeless Hybrid + DHEA

Hybrid lubes offer the best of both worlds: the longevity of silicone and the easy cleanup of water-based formulas. This one is free from glycerin, parabens, and propylene glycol so it’s gentle on sensitive skin. And I liked that it wasn’t as slippery as pure silicone, but stayed on as long as I needed it to. This brand also makes the best flavored lube I’ve tried, the Aqua Strawberry. I’m not big on ingesting the stuff or food in the bedroom, but the scent was lovely and subtle and did help set the mood.

Use this if you have skin sensitivities, use condoms or silicone toys, want a longer-lasting product.

Best for sensitive skin: Pjur Sensitive Glide

This water-based natural lube is dermatologist-tested and free from glycerine, parabens, and other harsh ingredients and allergens. It’s also got a neutral odor. The screw-on cap and squeeze applicator is a little frustrating and may take a little extra time in the heat of the moment, but good things are worth the wait.

Use this if you have allergies or sensitivities to harsh chemicals, use silicone toys or condoms.

Best natural: Aloe Cadabra Personal Lubricant & Moisturizer

This aloe-vera-based formula lasts longer than most water based lubes, and feels a little thicker. It’s great on your lady parts, natural (lab testing found it to be free from forever chemicals and others linked to hormone disruption or cancer), and the scented versions are really subtle.

Use this if you prefer a natural product, use condoms or silicone toys.

Best pH-balanced: Good Clean Love Almost Naked

I’ve struggled with vaginal pH issues my entire life. One wrong move, and I’d end up with a yeast infection, so I’m picky about what I use down there, especially since the experts I spoke with said hormonal fluctuations during menopause can make you even more susceptible to infections. This product is free from all the harsh chemicals, and pH-wise, comes in as close to your vagina’s natural level as possible.

Use this if you get frequent yeast infections, like a natural product, use condoms or silicone toys.

Best CBD: Kush Queen

There isn’t a lot of robust research about CBD in lube yet, but some studies indicate cannabis has a positive effect on female arousal, and CBD might increase blood flow, which helps with natural lubrication. You’re going to pay more for a lube that contains CBD, and I personally didn’t find it any different that the other lubes I tried. But I liked that this product comes in a handy travel-size dispenser and is latex- and silicone-safe (and vegan if that’s a concern). It’s lightweight but slick and imperceptible when dry, with a very slight odor.

Use this if you are looking for a vegan product, use CBD, use condoms or silicone toys.

The Bottom Line: Lube Rules

I won’t lie: I still miss the bubble-wand days of my youth. A lot of the lube I tried felt incredible, but none can fully re-create the spontaneous sexiness or heady scent that used to gush between my thighs. But most arousal happens between your ears, and dryness doesn’t have to spell defeat. Lube isn’t a reluctant compromise, it’s a way to reclaim the pleasure that is rightfully mine—and yours (and did I mention it felt incredible?). So grab a bottle, start experimenting, and don’t settle for sex that doesn’t serve you.

Lube rules.