Let’s face it: Resolutions are as make-believe as Santa Claus. Good intentions? Sure. But mostly, they’re recycled promises from Christmas past, scribbled in haste as the new year ushers us in. They’re the equivalent of saying, “I’ll just have one more glass of eggnog”—well-meaning but completely unrealistic. We love to share them, promise to do better, and hope that broadcasting our goals will magically make them come true. By February, those lofty aspirations are as forgotten as last year’s Wordle streak.

But reflection? That shows sticktoitiveness (yes, it’s a real word, look it up). It’s not about Pinterest-worthy wins or performative #blessed moments. It’s about the unfiltered, oh-sh*t messes that leave you questioning everything. It’s staring down mistakes, heartbreaks, and existential crises, wringing every last drop of wisdom from them. Then moving forward with as much bad-ass tenacity as possible.

Here’s the truth: My biggest lessons didn’t come wrapped in success. (They never do.) They came crashing down when I least expected them, leaving me to climb back up. And you know what? Those are the lessons that shaped me. That humbled me. That made me grow.

So, this year, I’m skipping the BS resolutions. Instead, I’m reflecting on the good, the bad, and the spectacularly ugly of 2024. I’m taking stock of what worked, what didn’t, and what lit my soul. Because the best way forward isn’t a sanitized vision board—it’s through the wreckage and the revelations.

Let’s get to it.

Wise Revelations

Lesson 1: Trust Your Gut

Or Regret It. Ignore it, and you’ll pay the price. Your gut doesn’t always shout; sometimes, it whispers. This year, mine whispered loud and clear—and I still ignored it. Hosting a destination wedding, launching a new business, moving, and remodeling a home created plenty of moments where my instincts warned me. Red flags waved. I looked away. Why? Because I let the usual suspects—family dynamics, friendships, moving stress, even the election—drown out my inner compass. And I paid for it. Every time I tuned in, though, I felt lighter, freer, and more aligned. Lesson learned: My gut is my compass. It might not always lead to the easiest path but always points to the truth. From now on, I’m done ignoring it.

Lesson 2: If Not Me, Then Who?

Stop waiting for permission. Start taking the lead. Jamie Lee Curtis doesn’t just inspire me; she sets the bar high. At 60, she started a production company, bringing her new vision to life. She isn’t slowing down, and at 64, neither am I. Her mantra, “If not me, then who?” became my rallying cry. This year, I launched Provoked by Susan. Why? Because there’s a void in media for women of a certain age—something smart, provocative, unapologetic. The clock is ticking, my runway is shorter, and the calling is too loud to ignore. Sometimes, you don’t wait for someone else to step up. Sometimes, it has to be you.

Lesson 3: Procrastination Is Potential.

It’s not laziness; it’s optimism. Let’s talk about those dusty dumbbells and the New Balance sneakers still tucked away in their box. Procrastination gets a bad rap, but it’s not about laziness or lack of discipline—at least, that’s what I’m telling myself these days. At its heart, procrastination is quiet optimism: the belief that there’s still time to accomplish what matters. I’d rather channel my energy into tomorrow’s potential than beat myself up for what didn’t happen today. Procrastination keeps possibilities alive. It whispers, You’re not done yet. Sure, it can look like avoidance, but it’s often about pacing yourself and trusting that you’ll circle back to what truly matters. Far from being a flaw, it’s a way to let priorities shift and evolve—gently.

Soul Food

Lesson 4: Build Your Pipeline.

Friendships don’t just happen.. Here’s the truth: friendships require effort, especially as we age. I said yes to last-minute invitations, hosted dinner parties with strangers, and started a book club when I couldn’t get into one. Some of those strangers became my closest friends. The awkward small talk and the work of hosting were all worth it. Connection requires work, availability, and a willingness to take risks. But the payoff? It’s worth every awkward moment. Friendships aren’t handed to you—you must create them.

Lesson 5: Stop Caring About Approval.

Be real. Forget permission. Getting older is a gift—a license to stop caring what people think. Approval? Overrated. Acceptance? Optional. Living authentically, without seeking validation, has transformed me. This isn’t about recklessness; it’s about freedom. And honestly? It feels incredible.

Lessons 6: Relationships End.

Cherish the season, even when it’s over. This one hurt. A relationship I thought would last forever unraveled this year. The end was sudden, leaving me to replay every moment, wondering what I could’ve done differently. The truth? Seasons change, and so do relationships. What matters is cherishing the time you had—even when it ends.

Unapologetic Perspectives

Lesson 7: Dim Your LIght For No One

Is your light too bright? Earlier this year, someone told me my “big life” was intimidating. What the hell does that even mean? At first, I was hurt. Then I got mad. Now? I’m unapologetic. I refuse to shrink myself for anyone. I’m here to live fully and won’t dim my light to make others feel better. I choose to live fully, to embrace joy, and I won’t let anyone take that away. If my life is too much for you, that’s your problem, not mine.

Lesson 8: Authenticity First.

Boxes aren’t for people. This year, I stopped trying to fit into boxes that weren’t mine. Breaking free came with a cost. While I remained true to myself and my core value system, there was heartache and discomfort along the way. But the reward? Peace. Joy. Freedom. I’m done pretending. This is me. Take it or leave it.

Provocations for Action

Lesson 9: There Are No Shortcuts.

Life’s lessons don’t come prepackaged. They’re earned through hard work, missteps, and messy growth. This year, I leaned into discomfort, embraced uphill battles, and confronted fears. The reward? A life that feels authentic, meaningful, and mine. A purposeful journey is the point.

Lesson 10: Depth Over Breadth.

Be Pointy. For the past few years, I spread myself thin – dabbling here, dabbling there. This year, I finally got my shit together, I went deep. Whether it was building Provoked, renovating a home, or diving into a new friendship, I focused on depth over breadth. Being pointy—focused, intense, deliberate—has been a game-changer. It’s how I make an impact. And for me, impact is everything.

Fearless Style

Lesson 11: Buy Less, Choose Well.

Sustainability is style. This past year, I’ve become more intentional about what clothes I purchase and why. After watching the Netflix documentary Buy Now: The Shopping Conspiracy, I took that as a jarring wake-up call. I strive to curate a wardrobe that reflects my values: timeless, sustainable, and true to me. Fast fashion has no place in my life. Buying less but better isn’t just good for the planet; it’s about living with intention.

Lesson 12: Home Is Who You Are.

Design your interiors for your soul. Designing new homes recently reminded me that space isn’t just where we live—it’s who we are. My homes are filled with art, collections, and stories that reflect my journey. Downsizing gives us a chance to curate what truly matters. Moving things around and introducing a fresh new look inspires and elevates mood. Creating beauty isn’t just a hobby; it’s a necessity. It’s how I stay connected—to myself and the world.

What about you?

What hard-earned lessons did this year bring?

Where have you grown, and what truths are you embracing?